Posted by
Dave on Monday, September 18, 2006 5:09:46 PM
Lately I've been having this feeling that I'm missing out on part of life in this global economy. To be specific, I'm wondering if I should start protesting.
Protesting really seems to be the cool thing to do these days. After all, protesters always get to burn stuff and ever since I was young, I've liked to burn stuff too. Burning stuff is cool. When I was in the Boy Scouts, we used to spray the bottoms of our shoes with bug spray and light it on fire, then run around the camp ground jumping up and down and laughing.
I'm also thinking seriously about protesting cause I think you get to live in trees. That sounds awesome. My dad built my brother and me a tree-house in our backyard when I was young. It was so much fun, except for the time I fell out and landed in a metal bucket. That was sort of painful, but I still like playing in the woods.
Another thing that seems cool about protesting, especially overseas, is that apparently you get issued an AK-47 and get to hold it up while you run around screaming and yelling. I think sometimes you even get to fire it in the air. That's pretty cool. It doesn't seem like they have restrictions on shooting semi-automatic rifles in the city in Muslim countries, I wonder if I should go over there to protest.
One more thing, when protesting, it seems like you get to wear cool headgear that hides your face, carry flags and banners, and make paper-mache political figures. I used to make paper-mache stuff in elementary school and we had a lot of fun. Your hands get a little slimy, but I think it washes off pretty easily. I made a paper-mache tiger in 3rd grade that my parents still have, that makes me feel good.
Finally, here in the U.S., when you protest, you get to leave work and wander around outside with friends, sing songs, and chant. I like singing songs. I remember going to camp and getting around a big fire and singing songs together. It's especially fun when someone brings a guitar and some bongos. But protesting is even better than that, not only do you get to play outside, you get paid for it, and sometimes you even get a raise and better benefits.
Man, I really have been missing out. Now, I just need to find something to protest and a good group of folks to join me.
Ya'll come back now, ya hear!