Posted by
Dave on Tuesday, September 05, 2006 5:36:14 PM
I woke up a little groggy and tired this morning. I had a slight headache and felt like going back to bed. Unfortunately my mind was already anxious about the meetings and work related activities planned for the day. What’s worse is that my wife’s 10 year high school reunion is coming up and today was my vowed day to start doing Weight Watchers again. Blah. Why can’t I just eat what I want and be healthy and sexy at the same time?
Anyway, I managed to pull myself together, drink some half-the-calories orange juice along with my egg fried in olive oil, topped with reduced fat American cheese, and sandwiched between a light, whole grain English muffin, and get ready for work. After arriving at work and getting my computer set up I performed a quick scan of the days news. It was then that I came upon the best story I’ve read in years.
Evolution, not gluttony, has lead to my obesity.(
article)
What great news! It’s not my fault after all. Apparently, the forces of nature and the free market have forced me to eat sugary, fatty, processed foods. I think they called it Dietary Evolution. But whatever they call it, I’m just glad I’ve had nothing to do with it. Here I was, about to start changing my eating habits and attempting to improve my lifestyle. But it’s out of my control, it’s the forces of nature, it’s evolution. I’m destined to be fat. Amazing.
So let me get this straight. We’re not responsible for being fat, alcoholics, addicted to cigarettes, ill tempered, ignorant, lazy, uneducated, parents, or poor. We can’t spread peace to the world, cure aids, survive hurricanes, or stop forest fires. But somehow we can manage to destroy the entire earth in less than 100 years?
Makes sense to me – I guess I’ll go get a hamburger from McDonalds.
Ya'll come back now, ya hear!